THANKS & NO THANKS

22 11 2007

Our calendars slid Thanksgiving ahead a week this year, n’est-ce pas? Some are wondering how it happened. How did the calendars know before we did? Is it to make us spend hopeful dollars a week earlier, longer, more than usual? No one knows why it happened.

Today no one seems to care about why Thanksgiving is earlier this year. They’re too busy wishing “Happy Thanksgiving” as merrily as if it were Christmas. Some people choose to avoid offending those of other persuasions and are wishing “Happy Holiday” instead of Happy Thanksgiving. In a few weeks they’ll be doing it again, trying to break themselves of “Merry Christmas” with that same “Happy Holiday” substitution.

plan “b” doesn’t recall people saying “Happy Holiday” in recent Thanksgivings. They’ve probably been doing it for years but for the sake of argument, let’s say it’s a new phenomenon. And if it is, plan “b” has a theory about what that means.

Say “Happy Holiday” today because: It gives the people who do not feel grateful or don’t care to discuss their gratitude with strangers a way of avoiding anti-sociability on one of the rare paid holidays for Americans who still have jobs. And then there’s the whole Norman Rockwell family glow of Thanksgiving, so charmingly refreshed in the first run picture “American Gangster.” (Great picture, recommended viewing, plan “b” gives it FIVE popcorn boxes.)

However, those who still say “Happy Thanksgiving” can appreciate the oasis this holiday offers us from the 364 other days of complaining and generally facing everything that is messed up in our lives. If we didn’t have this single day of Thanks in our year, our ability to produce high grade complaints, whines and whimpers would inevitabley erode.

With this most ingenious holiday of our year, we return to our complaints tomorrow, refreshed and inspired, taking the “As usual I ate too much” from this feast day forward to build ever grander edifices of moans and groans. plan “b” wishes all of us a very Happy Thanksgiving!

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